Welcome to our 38th consecutive Christmas missive! If you have endured all 38 of our letters, you may be entitled to compensation.
Our big news: In April, we moved from Maryville, Tennessee to Chesterfield, Missouri, about 20 miles west of St Louis! Janet’s sister, Cathy, and her hubby graciously agreed to take in and care for Janet’s parents, allowing us to make the move and help care for…
Grandchildren!
After years of praying for bountiful wombs for our daughters-in-law, God answered big time! Bradford is now 2, Chapman is 7 months, and Rooney (out in NC) is 4 months. All three are adorable! I used to make fun of doting, over-the-top grandparents and now we’ve joined the ranks! Seriously, grands are… grand! Whoever coined the term had insight. They’re better than bookstores, coffee shops, and fried okra! They’re better than the middle “Aisle of Shame” at Aldi. Grands are almost as grand as the bathroom stalls at Buc-ee’s!
We’ve been blessed to be able to look after little Chappie 4 days/week for the past several months and recently added Bradford to the daily mix. Yes, Nonni and Papa Fob’s Fun Factory is open for business—it’s like 1994 all over again with two young boys 18 months apart! We are living the “good old days.”
In other news, a very interesting phone call came this year from my friend, Terry Reeves, who asked me to “Fly to Florida to sing at a charity concert” at Foundation Christian Academy where I used to teach. I know, I was shocked too. Aside from my beautiful, spot-on vocal renditions of Tom Petty’s “Refugee” and George Michael’s “Careless Whisper,” I’m not much of a singer. In fact, I’m pretty awful. I’ve had fellow Christians singing in the pew in front of me turn around and say, “Hey, bud, could you dial it back just a notch? Thanks.”
Still, I was intrigued.
“Terry, you know I’m a terrible singer. Is this some kind of a joke?”
“No, we want to fly you here as our secret guest performer, John Denver.”
“I thought he was dead?”
“You’re bringing him back to life. It’ll be fine. You’ll be part of an ensemble. Trust me.”
Terry doesn’t take no for an answer. A month later, I found myself in Giorgio’s Beauty Supply Warehouse in Brandon, Florida, shopping for a wig. (If you live long enough, you eventually get around to doing everything.) After walking into the massive warehouse, sort of an Ikea for women’s hair products, I soon realized I was the only male and only Caucasian in the place. There were endless rows of wigs, weaves, hair extensions, head wraps, and gels. I was as lost as last year’s Easter egg. Overwhelmed, I approached a young store clerk and ask if she could help me find a John Denver wig.
“Who’s John Denver?”
This is what getting old feels like.
The concert went well. My ensemble and I belted out a powerful rendition of “Country Roads”. During the second verse, as I broke into a solo kick line a la The Rockettes, ensemble leader and former youth group member Jared Larsen looked back at me and said, “Hey, Big Steve, maybe dial it back just a notch. Thanks.” At the conclusion, I tossed my John Denver wig into a sea of screaming teenage girls! Everyone deserves one rock star moment in life and that was mine! I also got to speak in chapel and at the Creekside Church of Christ, our former congregation.
Welcome to the world, Roo!
There were plenty of other exciting trips this year, including:
Franklin, TN, x2, to visit my siblings.
Florida and Cincinnati to visit my dad and his wife.
Kentucky, x2, to do post-tornado disaster relief. On the way home from the second trip, I was the 4th car to arrive at the scene of a serious 3-car accident. Three other motorists and I were able to extract a young driver from his car and administer CPR, but he didn’t make it. Worst moment of the year. Ugh!
North Carolina, x4, for Roo’s gender reveal, a shower, birth, and 2 month visit.
Martin, TN, to talk to some good folks about God and the Appalachian Trail.
Bristol, VA, x4, for Janet to help with her parents.
DeSoto, MO, x4, to do post-tornado chainsaw work at Camp Neotez, teach Bible at Boy’s Week, and speak at our Men’s Retreat. (It seems the move to MO has earned me the nickname “Chainsaw Steve” which sounds kind of manly, to be honest, like an earthy musk scent.)
To Union, SC, for Janet’s sister Carol and hubby Scott’s 50th Wedding Anniversary celebration. What a milestone!
To St. Charles, MO, for a sleep study, where they locked me in a basement hospital room, hooked me up to 75 electrodes, put a video monitor above my head, and told me to sleep soundly. I apparently failed the test, as I now have to strap a rubbery octopus to my face at night.
Our big vacation this year was to Medora, ND, for our 37th Anniversary! We took in the Medora Musical, went horseback riding, hiked and hung out with a few hundred bison in the Teddy Roosevelt National Park, and celebrated our marriage. We were also able to check off our bucket list goal of visiting all 50 states!
A smooch in our 50th state!
We’ve also been visited by longtime friends Chuck & Jana Leasure and Harold & Kelly Bryant, and we’re looking forward to the amazing Brad & Jenny Diamond visiting for New Year’s. We love having visitors so reach out and get on our calendar for a visit to the Lou… see the Arch, go to a Cardinals game, have an authentic Italian dinner on the Hill, or check out the wildlife at one of the top zoos in the U.S., among many other sites to see. For a more exhaustive list of things to do here, check out my June 6th blog.
Yes, our first 7 months in the Lou have been wonderful! We’ve already made great friends here, including Joe and Jan Johnson, who love games and eating as much as we do. We’ve connected with two different congregations—one on Sunday and one on Wednesday—and have enjoyed opportunities to fellowship, teach and substitute preach.
Every month, we pick a different suburb or quirky neighborhood and go exploring—Central West End, Maplewood, Forest Park, Kimmswick, Soulard, etc. Each have a unique character and typically a quaint coffee shop and bookstore. (After Janet was propositioned by a gal at the annual Grove Fest in the Grove, Kyle thought to inform us that it has the highest LGBTQ+ population in the region! Thanks Son!)
I’ve also completed my 11th of “60 Hikes w/in 60 Miles of St Louis”—sometimes with Joe, sometimes with Janet, and sometimes solo. I ran the STL 10K with Kyle and friends in April and am enjoying our neighborhood running trails and our apartment’s high-end exercise room and pool.
STL Symphony!
That’s not to say 2025 has been without challenges. Several of our trips were in support of family members dealing with prostate cancer, congestive heart failure, breast cancer, dementia, and other issues. God has all the details and we trust in Him to guide and sustain each of these individuals, and our collective family, whatever comes our way. Your prayers are appreciated.
We look forward to our family being together for Christmas week, and to what God has in store for all of us in 2026! Who knows… maybe even Grand #4?
May God bless you and your family this holiday season and throughout 2026!
C.S. Lewis wrote, “Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea…until they have someone to forgive.”
Today’s parable—the final in our series—is about the immense mercy and forgiveness God has shown to us and how we should show that same mercy and forgiveness to those around us. When we don’t, there are serious consequences. Please take a moment to read Matthew 18:21-35.
So, it begins with Peter asking how often to forgive. Why ask that? We tend to look for the minimum requirement. As a child, “How many green beans do I have to eat?” As a student, “How much of the assignment must we do?” You may recall, in an earlier parable, the legal expert asking Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?” The goal is to lower the standard to help ensure compliance/righteousness.
It would be convenient for Jesus to answer “3” or “5” or even “7” as suggested by Peter. Forgiving someone 7 times seems reasonable. Three times was the accepted limit taught by many Jewish rabbis at the time. Seven seems generous, way over the top, actually. Have you ever forgiven someone 7 times? Seems like a lot.
Instead, what does Jesus say? 77 times! Some translations say “70 x 7” or 490 times! What’s He saying? That we stop forgiving someone after the 77th or 490th offense? No, He means our forgiveness should be unlimited, extremely generous.
So, in our story, a servant owes his king an incredible amount of money. 10,000 talents is 375 tons of silver which equates to about $1.25 billion in today’s dollars. Unless you’re Elon Musk, that’s a lot of money. The point is the man would never be able to satisfy the debt.
To recoup the debt, the king intended to sell the servant, his family, and their property. (Normally, a king would put the servant in prison and sell his family into slavery.) This sounds weird to us, but there were lots of slaves in that society. Today, we’d take someone to court and get money from their estate, future earnings, etc.
Imagine you’re that servant and the king is about to auction you off and possibly break up your family. How devastating! And, by the way, the king is only going to get at most 1 talent per person and usually far less, like .1 talent/person. That won’t cover the debt but there would be a measure of justice. The servant begs for more time to pay, which is quite an empty gesture. The debt was far beyond his ability to pay. It’s laughable that he considered the only issue to be the king’s patience.
Fortunately for the servant and his family, the king has a change of heart. Moved by compassion, he decides not only to not sell the servant and his family and possessions, but to forgive the debt! They don’t have to pay $1.25 billion! Happy ending, right? Not so fast!
The servant encounters another servant who owes him money—100 denarii—a common laborer’s daily wage x 100. Today, that’s roughly $13,700. Still a lot of money, but far less than $1.25B!
What’s the servant do? He demands payment and starts choking the guy! The second servant begs for mercy—for more time. Sound familiar? No mercy is given. He puts the guy in prison until the debt is repaid in full.
The king finds out from other servants—not because the offender repented. Outraged, he summons the first servant: “I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to. Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?” The king has the servant put in prison (some translations say he’s handed over to “torturers”) until he pays back the original loan in full. Effectively, that’s eternal punishment.
Had Jesus stopped there, we’d be left with a tragic tale of a servant who didn’t forgive. Shame on him! He got what he deserved. But Jesus concludes the parable on a very ominous note, saying that the same fate awaits each one of us if we fail to forgive others from the heart. “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” As Saint Francis of Assisi put it, “It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.”
In other words, God the Father’s forgiveness, which we have already been given, will be withdrawn at the final judgment if we do not imitate this forgiveness in our relationships with each other. One commentator put it this way: “The principle is clear. God has forgiven such a great debt, that any debt owed to us is absolutely insignificant in comparison. No man can possibly offend me to the extent that my sins have offended God. This principle must be applied in the little things done to us, but also to the great things done unto us.”
One of the unchanging rules of the Kingdom of God: What we do to others will be done to us – eternally! For example, in Matthew 6:12, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” Or, from Luke 6:37-38: “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” So, in giving, forgiving, judging, etc., the measure I use toward others, God will use toward me. Friends, that puts forgiveness in a whole new light. If I forgive a little, I will be forgiven a little. If I forgive a lot, I will be forgiven a lot.
Allow me to get personal for a moment. How much do you need forgiven? How much daily? Monthly? Yearly? Let’s start with the sin that gives you the most problem. We probably all have one we’re thinking of—one sin or category of sin that gives us the most trouble. I want you to mentally go to a white board and write it out on the board. Now, step back and give it a look. How often have you committed that sin in the past 24 hours? Write that number underneath it. How about in the past week? How about the past year? What’s your total? Mentally go to the board and write that number down under the sin. How about during the course of your life? What’s your best guess? Do the math. Write it down.
Was it three times? Seven times? Seventy-seven times? 490 times?
How many times does it need to be forgiven for you to go to heaven? Answer: Every time! And that’s just for that one sin category. If you’re like me, and I suspect you are, there are a lot more sin categories! Good luck on estimating your total number of sins—of commission and omission—across all sin categories. We’re going to need a calculator! And we’re in need of God’s grace & mercy. The blood of Jesus is our only hope! If we expect Him to forgive us, we’ve got to forgive others—that’s the bottom line.
Let’s dive deeper and look at five related questions:
1. Are we required to “forgive and forget”? Is that even possible?
The reality is we can’t always forget. If you’ve been sexually abused, or had a loved one killed by a drunk driver, you may be able to forgive the offender on some level, but it’s unlikely you will forget that it happened. I’ve never been sexually abused, but I have been hurt or wronged a few times, even by loved ones and people I thought were trustworthy friends. I have forgiven the people involved, but I still remember the incidents. I wish that I didn’t. I wish that I could magically erase that portion of the hard drive. Some wrongs I surely have forgotten, aided in part by getting older and not remembering lots of things. But that’s not mandatory for forgiveness to occur.
Earlier this year, Charlie Kirk’s widow said that she forgave his killer and I believe her. But she’ll never forget that moment, or her husband, or the crime committed against him. So, even if we can’t “forgive and forget”… at least “forgive and remember”. And be thankful for a God who can, through the sacrifice of His Son, erase our entire sin hard drive!
2. What about “forgiving unconditionally” vs “forgiving conditionally”?
Unconditionally means there are no strings attached. Conditionally means just that—there are conditions. “You must wallow at my feet for 24 hours!” “You must suffer for a while!” What about “I’ll forgive you, but you must never do that thing again!” That one is hard. But think back to God forgiving you of the sin that causes the most problems for you. What if God said, “I’ll forgive you once, but that’s it!”
Does God forgive conditionally? Yes! He loves us unconditionally but forgives conditionally. How so? We must be a Christian—washed in the blood of Christ. That’s where we find our forgiveness. Also, we must forgive others—the main point of this parable. 1 John 4:11 states, “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”
3. Are there sometimes consequences, even when we forgive someone?
Yes! For example, adultery is biblical grounds to divorce someone. So, it’s possible that a woman forgives her husband and they remain married. But she also has biblical grounds to divorce him. And I certainly don’t think she has to stay in that relationship while he cheats on her 77 times! The same goes for abuse. A woman is not required to remain in a home where she is repeatedly abused, under the guise of forgiveness. And even if she forgives her husband, the perpetrator may still go to jail. One commentator put it this way: “While extending forgiveness as the wronged person is a necessary step for reconciliation, your willingness to forgive does not obligate you to restore the relationship or trust the person.”
The same goes for a friend who takes advantage of me financially. They borrow money for one stated, legit purpose but use it for an illegit purpose. I can forgive them, but I don’t have to keep giving them money. Nor do I have to hang out with them. Forgiveness and consequences can coincide and often do.
4. How does our forgiveness (or lack thereof) affect our Christian witness?
It stands out. It’s noticed. Part of letting our light shine is showing the world how we respond to being wronged. Jesus called it “turning the other cheek”.
Years ago, I wrote a devotional entitled “Forgiving As We’re Forgiven” for my book Faith in the Margins…
On October 2, 2006, Charles Carl Roberts walked into an Amish one-room schoolhouse in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. Angry with God over the death of his newborn daughter nine years earlier, he took hostages and ultimately shot eight of 10 girls (ages 6-13), killing five, before taking his own life.
The mass killing devastated the small Amish community and made headlines nationwide. The enduring legacy of the horrific event, however, has more to do with forgiveness than the taking of innocent human life. The Amish community that lost so much didn’t hesitate to forgive the killer and reach out to his family.
A grandfather of one of the victims warned other relatives not to hate or think evil of the killer.
Another Amish community member reached out to the Roberts family hours after the shooting to offer comfort and forgiveness to them.
An Amish man reportedly held Robert’s sobbing father in his arms for an hour to comfort him.
The Amish community set up a charitable fund for Roberts’ family.
About 30 Amish community members attended Roberts’ funeral. Additionally, Marie Roberts, the killer’s widow, was one of only a few outsiders to be invited to attend the funeral of one of the young victims.
The Amish community’s amazing expressions of forgiveness touched our nation and helped the Roberts family to heal. Marie Roberts, in an open letter to her Amish neighbors, wrote, “Your love for our family has helped to provide the healing we so desperately need. Gifts you’ve given have touched our hearts in a way no words can describe. Your compassion has reached beyond our family, beyond our community, and is changing our world, and for this we sincerely thank you.”
In Genesis 45, Joseph reunites with his brothers who have hated him, plotted against him, left him for dead in a pit, and later sold him as a slave to some traveling Midianites. In verses 14-15, we read, “Then he threw his arms around his brother Benjamin and wept, and Benjamin embraced him, weeping. And he kissed all his brothers and wept over them. Afterward his brothers talked with him.” It would be understandable for Joseph, in his position of authority, to express anger and bitterness toward his brothers and exact revenge. Instead, Joseph, like the Amish community, shows mercy and forgiveness. What a wonderful example of forgiveness. The scars and wounds are still there. But when we forgive others as God forgives us, healing can occur.
5. Must we forgive someone who doesn’t repent?
There are 2 schools of thought. I’ll cover each…
School #1: No, you mustn’t forgive someone who doesn’t repent. Biblical forgiveness is generally not extended without repentance. Part of being right with God and receiving forgiveness is that we repent, among other things. If I haven’t repented, I can’t expect God to forgive me. If that were the case, Jesus wouldn’t have had to die on a cross. (See Acts 2:38)
Luke 17:3-4 seems to clearly state that forgiveness is conditioned on repentance: “Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
Some argue that to forgive someone who hasn’t repented is to put oneself above God–an attempt to “out forgive” God–which is itself problematic and possibly even sinful (under School #1).
Even if Christians aren’t called to forgive the unrepentant, we should maintain a spirit of forgiveness and be ready to forgive when repentance occurs. Even without repentance, a Christian can “forgive” by: 1) Choosing not to hold onto bitterness, which hurts them more than the offender and may hinder the offender from repenting, and 2) By leaving vengeance to God—He will judge justly.
School #2: Some scholars see it differently. They believe we should forgive an unrepentant sinner. One commentator makes the case this way: “That thinking [School #1] is wrong, because I do not stand in the same place as God in the equation, and I never can. God stands as One who has never been forgiven and never needed forgiveness; I stand as one who has been forgiven and needs continual forgiveness. Therefore – if it were possible – we should be far quicker to forgive than God is, without precondition of repentance, because we stand as forgiven sinners who must also forgive. We have an even greater obligation to forgive than God does… Since we have been forgiven so much, we have no right to withhold forgiveness from others. We are the debtor forgiven almost an infinite debt; will we hold on to the small debts others owe to us? If anyone had the right to withhold forgiveness it is God – and He forgives more freely and more completely than anyone we know. What possible right do we have to hold on to our unforgiveness?”
You can decide for yourself which view you align with. The parables are designed to get us thinking and I hope this parable, and this question in particular, have caused you to do that. Regardless of how you answer the question, the point of the parable is for us to be more forgiving—excessive, extreme, over the top–like the forgiveness God extends to us.
Luke 6:36 states, “Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.” Let’s strive to do that.
Put another way, “Give out forgiveness like it’s someone else’s money.”
I hope you have enjoyed our study of the parables. Perhaps we can examine additional ones in the future.
In today’s study, we shift from parables about lost things to a parable about being ready for Christ’s return. Please take a moment to read Matthew 25:1-13.
For context, understand there were three stages to a Jewish wedding in that day:
1. Engagement – a formal agreement was made by the fathers.
2. Betrothal – a ceremony was held in which mutual promises were made. This was analogous to what we consider an engagement, but even more so. It was a big deal—sealed the deal. It’s why Mary becoming pregnant while betrothed to Joseph was such a potential scandal.
3. Marriage – after betrothal, the man returned to his father’s house/family compound and spent about a year securing and preparing a room for him and his bride. Around then, he would return for his bride at an unexpected time and the marriage ceremony would begin. (This is why the language of John 14:2-3 would have resonated with the orginal hearers: “In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.” Jesus, the bridegroom, will one day return to claim the church, His bride.)
Back to the Jewish wedding… When the bridegroom returned unannounced, the bridesmaids (aka virgins or maidens) who were attending the bride, would go out to meet the bridegroom, with lamps lighted. They would lead him, his companions, and the bride on a processional back to his house, where the wedding feast and other events would occur, including the consummation of their marriage.
So, that’s the basic sequence… engagement, betrothal, and marriage. This parable picks up in the period after step 2, the betrothal.
The main characters are the 10 virgins. Who do they represent? In Revelation 10, a woman represents a church; so, it seems we’re talking about people who profess to be Christians, although there are a few different interpretations we’ll get to.
What’s the significance of them being virgins? This relates to purity. Back in Old Testament times, purity was a huge deal—as it should be today. If a woman claimed to be pure but wasn’t, she could be severely punished. Once again, there are parallels to Christ and His bride, the church. In 2 Corinthians 11:2, Paul writes, “I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him.” So, as Christians, we’re engaged to Christ, so to speak, and should strive to remain pure for Him until His return.
Why 10 virgins? Ten was a big number in Jewish society—it would have resonated with them. It takes…
10 men to hold a synagogue; 10 present to confirm a circumcision; 10 in a house to keep the Passover; 10 present at a marriage contract; common size of a wedding party; Boaz had 10 witnesses at his marriage (Ruth 4:2); God would spared the city for 10 righteous people (Gen. 18:32); 10 camels loaded down with gifts for Rebekah (Gen. 24:10); Rebekah stayed 10 days before leaving (Gen. 24:55); Joseph had 10 brothers that went to Egypt (Gen. 42:3); The Tabernacle had 10 curtains (Ex. 26:1); God gave 10 commandments (Deut. 4:13); Solomon had 10 tables in the temple, 10 lavers of water, 10 golden candlesticks (2 Chron. 4:6-8); Christ will return with 10,000 Saints (Jude 14)
Thus, 10 is significant to Jews in their religious life.
So, a couple got engaged and then the bride chose 10 bridesmaids. Their job?
They saw to it that she remained faithful—no wandering eyes for another man. “Hey, you’re committed to someone already! He’s coming back. Knock it off!”
They reassured her if she had doubts—“It’s been a year; do you think he still loves me?” (We do the same thing! “God, you haven’t answered my prayer. I just don’t know if you love me anymore.”)
They kept her presentable, ready for the groom—not running around with “rollers in her hair”—“You’ve got to be ready!”
Taken together, the virgins represent a pure woman or God’s pure church.
The Bridegroom? That’s Christ. From Luke 5:34: “And Jesus said to them, ‘Can you make wedding guests fast while the bridegroom is with them?’” (See also Ephesians 5:24-27, Isaiah 62:5, Matthew 9:15, Mark 2:19, & 2 Corinthians 11:2)
The Lamps? The Word of God. Psalm 119:105 states, “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.”
So, the first problem is that with the bridegroom away, all 10 virgins are sleeping. All of them. Christians, you may say you’re not asleep, that you’re anxiously waiting for Christ’s return. But is that actually the case? We say we believe that Jesus will return some day, right? But let’s be honest, we don’t really believe He’s coming any time soon. If we truly thought Jesus was returning by the end of the year, how would we spend the rest of the month? If you truly believed He was coming at midnight tonight, how would you spend your day? Would you make some phone calls or visits to loved ones? Would you make a last ditch effort to save someone? I wouldn’t clean house, I can assure you of that!
The reality is that most of us believe He’s coming one day, just not “soon”—not today. And that will also be the case tomorrow. So, whether we’re saved or not, this parable has a message for all of us. Again, all of the virgins were sleeping.
So, today, let’s do some soul-searching, some introspection. Can we do that? Is that okay?
Here’s the question: Are you preparing for Jesus’ return? Or are you sleeping? Be honest—this is between you (and me) and God.
How can you know? Are you studying your Bible regularly, earnestly seeking to know God’s will? Are you praying fervently, wanting to talk to God as you make final preparations? Are you evangelizing in any way, knowing that time is running out? When’s the last time you shared your faith in any way with a non-Christian? Is attending your congregation’s worship services/Bible studies (whenever they occur) a priority–must do events? Or, are we just too busy with other activities to congregate with the people we claim to want to spend eternity with?
Christians, are we actively preparing for His return—in a constant state of readiness—or are we sleeping like these virgins? How would we really act if we knew Jesus was coming soon, even tonight?
When the 10 virgins went to meet the bridegroom, what did they all take with them? Lamps. There were two types of lamps: a small one you’d carry and a larger one on a pole that you’d take to the processional. So, figuratively, these Bible-believing, Bible-toting people believe that the bridegroom (Christ) is coming—that it’s time for the big event—and go to meet him. If the story stopped here, all good! Pure, Bible-believing, lamp-carrying followers of Christ have gone to meet Him and will then head off together for the wedding, to then live happily ever after.
But… verse 2 says 5 are wise and 5 are foolish. What happened? What went wrong?
The Greek word “moros”—where we get the word moron—means “dull in thinking; unprepared; not anticipating” vs. “wise, alert, ready, thinking ahead”. A wise bridesmaid would think ahead—“What if the groom is delayed? I’ve got to make sure I have enough oil!” Their torches consisted of a wooden staff held in their hand, with a dish at the top, in which was a piece of cloth or rope dipped in oil or pitch. The foolish maidens had the lamp, the Word of God, but were missing the oil. (This would be like going on a camping trip with a flashlight but no batteries.)
So, is it possible to have the lamp (the Bible) but miss the oil? Is that what this is referring to? Maybe. Oil is often used in Scripture to represent the Holy Spirit—an anointing. See Zechariah 4:1-7. The following chart compares oil to the Holy Spirit:
OLIVE OIL
HOLY SPIRIT
Oil lubricates when used for that purpose.
There is little friction and wear among those who are lubricated by the Spirit of God.
Oil heals and was used as a medicinal treatment in Biblical times (See Luke 10:34).
The Spirit of God brings healing and restoration.
Oil lights when it is burned in a lamp.
Where the Spirit of God is, there is light.
Oil warms when it is used as fuel for a flame.
Where the Spirit of God is, there is warmth and comfort.
Oil invigorates when used to massage.
The Holy Spirit invigorates us for His service.
Oil adorns when applied as a perfume.
The Holy Spirit adorns us and makes us more pleasant to be around.
Oil polishes when used to shine metal.
The Holy Spirit wipes away our grime and smooths out our rough edges.
Thus, it seems all the maidens have lamps (their Bibles) but only some (half) have the subduing, softening grace of the Holy Spirit—the oil. That’s a problem. Ephesians 5:18 states, “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit.” In John 3:5, Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit.” Christians, God’s Spirit is to shine through us—it’s part of our new birth in Christ. As one commentator put it, “Much of the weakness, defeat and lethargy in our spiritual lives can be explained if we are not constantly being filled with the Holy Spirit.”
Without oil half the wedding party was not ready for the bridegroom. And without the Holy Spirit, no one is ready for the return of Jesus. Put another way, no one can be a true Christian without the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. Romans 8:9 states, “Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His.” High stakes, for sure.
With that in mind, consider this: Is it possible for us to “have a Bible” (the lamp) but not really be into it? We’re just going through the motions. We carry it but we don’t read it. Or we read it but neither meditate on it nor apply it. If God’s Word is some sort of joke to me—I don’t take it seriously—then how can God’s Spirit be in me? Is it possible God would say to us what He said to the church in Laodicea in Revelation 3:14-15: “I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.”
What happened while the bridegroom was away? They all slumbered and slept—they got tired and weary from waiting. Your preachers, parents, grandparents, Bible class teachers, even your song leaders, have been telling you “Jesus is coming soon! Morning or night or noon!” You may respond, “Well, how long do I have to wait?! He hasn’t come yet!”
Here’s the thing: we just don’t know when! Christ could return at midnight tonight, or before you finish reading this lesson, or 1000 years from now. We just don’t know. It’s easy to get discouraged. Even sincere, legit Christians who are filled with the Holy Spirit get discouraged and sleep; again, all 10 virgins—those with and without oil—were asleep.
The reality is, a day is coming when the Bridegroom is going to return and wake us all up. Those who haven’t been born again, who don’t have the Spirit, can’t suddenly turn to those who do and borrow some oil. That’s based on the interpretation (which I align with) that all 10 maidens are professing Christians, since they all have lamps, but only five have the Holy Spirit. Alternatively, some scholars believe the 5 & 5 virgins represent Christians and non-Christians. Still others think the 5 wise virgins represent Gentile Christians who accepted Christ and were full of the Spirit (lamp + oil) and the 5 foolish ones were the Jews who were originally God’s chosen people and had the Word (lamp) but not the Spirit (oil).
Regardless of your interpretation, the point is the same: We must be ready for Christ’s return! Even though all 10 bridesmaids expected to go to the wedding feast (heaven), 5 of them aren’t ready for the bridegroom’s return and the other 5 can’t save them. My friend David is a solid, Christian friend. As best I can tell, he’s filled with the Spirit—plenty of oil in his lamp. But when Christ returns, I can’t say, “Hey, Bro, can you hook me up? I forgot my oil. I’m not ready. I’ve been coasting in my faith.” As much as he might want to, it will be too late. Each of us have to have our own conversion story.
Ellen White puts it this way: “The class represented by the foolish virgins are not hypocrites. They have a regard for the truth, they have advocated the truth, they are attracted to those who believe the truth; but they have not yielded themselves to the Holy Spirit’s working. They have not fallen upon the Rock, Christ Jesus, and permitted their old nature to be broken up. This class are represented also by the stony-ground hearers. They receive the word with readiness, but they fail of assimilating its principles. Its influence is not abiding. The Spirit works upon man’s heart, according to his desire and consent implanting in him a new nature; but the class represented by the foolish virgins have been content with a superficial work. They do not know God. They have not studied His character; they have not held communion with Him; therefore, they do not know how to trust, how to look and live. Their service to God degenerates into a form.”
These foolish virgins try at the last minute to buy oil but it’s too late— “I know ye not.” That’s a severe penalty for the foolish maidens. The door was shut, never to be opened again. 1 John 4:8 states, “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” In Matthew 7:23, Jesus says, “Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’”
These foolish virgins had their lamps—carried their Bibles around—but they were missing the Spirit. The Bible was just words on a page, like studying Geometry. And they were missing love. They weren’t ready.
Among the several thoughtful comments shared by students in my Bible class yesterday, I’d like to summarize three of them:
1. it possible the 5 wise virgins were asleep when the bridegroom returned because they were, in fact, ready? They had their lamp and sufficient oil–they were good to go. When we’re Christians, washed by the blood of the lamb, we should be confident of our salvation. We should be able to sleep soundly knowing that whenever Christ returns, even in the middle of the night, we’re ready for Him. (Does it bother me when my wife, on the fly, makes an insightful, contrarian point which is probably more accurate than my conclusion after two weeks of study? Of course not! Being married to someone who knows and loves the Word is one of life’s greatest blessings.)
2. Perhaps the foolish virgins tried to borrow oil from the wise ones because borrowing from others is what they had been doing all their lives. Maybe they had “borrowed” their parents’ or grandparents’ faith but had never made it their own. They never owned it–made it personal. So, at crunch time, when they needed it most, they didn’t have it and, sadly, were unable to borrow it.
3. While we don’t know when the bridegroom (Christ) will return, we also don’t know when we’ll die. People die unexpectedly all the time–car accidents, heart attacks, mass shootings, etc. So, another reason to be in a constant state of readiness is that we don’t know when our time will be up. We may die instantly and not have an opportunity to get ready.
Christians, Jesus should be a dear friend—someone we have a relationship with; someone we’re close to. Not just some historical figure. The message of the parable? Be ready. Love God and be filled with the Spirit. Because when Jesus, the Bridegroom, comes back, He’s coming for those who love him. He’s coming for his bride—the church. And the price for failing to be ready is too high.
The Prodigal Son is arguably the most touching and best remembered of all the parables. In our Bible class yesterday, a woman got choked up simply from reading the text. It resonates because we can typically relate to one of the characters:
You may feel like the lost, wayward son—either thinking about running/falling away or thinking about coming home. Maybe you find yourself in a pig pen, of sorts, even this very moment.
Some parents may identify with the father who longs for the son’s return; or perhaps you have forgiven someone and celebrated their return.
Some of you may at times feel like the jealous older brother. You feel like you’ve been wronged—treated unfairly. You’ve been the good, reliable sibling (or co-worker or student) and haven’t gotten credit for that.
“Prodigal” means being wastefully extravagant or foolish. In this story the man’s son recklessly and wastefully spends his inheritance. In the context of this famous parable, the prodigal son has also come to mean someone who is spiritually lost and someone who has returned after an absence. The title is not inspired—it was added later. It could have been called “The Gracious Father” as the parable is really more about him.
A reminder of context: As discussed last week, the Pharisees and scribes didn’t like Jesus eating with sinners—the godly shouldn’t mix with the ungodly. Jesus responds with a series of parables about God’s love for those who have fallen away.
This parable is only found in Luke 15:11-32—please open your Bibles and take a moment to read that now. To recap, a young son is apparently unhappy. He takes his inheritance early and leaves his father. He blows it all in wild living—I’m sure it was fun while it lasted. A famine comes and he’s desperate. He gets a job feeding pigs which were considered unclean (See Leviticus 11:7). He’s starving. He eventually realizes his sin, repents, and goes home, longing just to be a hired hand for his father. The father sees him at a distance, runs toward him, shows compassion, and showers him with hugs and kisses. His father calls for a robe, a ring, sandals, and a fattened calf—He throws a party! The older brother is jealous and angry. He’s been good and yet has never gotten a party. The father tries to console and reassure him. He tells him that his dead/lost brother is now alive/found!
Let’s get right into 7 Lessons for us:
1. Don’t love the world. The young man was obviously drawn to the world. 1 John 2:15 states, “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them.” This also takes us back to the weed-infested soil of the Parable of the Sower. You’ll recall the weeds kept the plant from growing and thriving. They crowd out the plant, suck up all the nutrients, and eventually kill it. We can’t let that happen! Keep the faith! Don’t backslide. Don’t be enticed by the world.
What are some things in the world that can entice us? Drugs, alcohol, illicit sex, pornography, gambling, covetousness, etc., are all things that will lead to pain and heartache. Be smarter than that. Live counter-culturally. Learn from others’ mistakes.
Notice the young son pursued sinful things in a far country where there would be no accountability. It’s always best to have accountability in your life, whether you’re struggling with church attendance, some particular sin, or even exercising regularly. If I tell my friend Joe that I’m trying to run every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning, and I want him to touch base and make sure I’ve done that, I’m much more likely to stay on track. The same goes for not doing certain things. In the parable, there was no one in the faraway place to hold this young man accountable.
By the way, avoiding “worldly living” doesn’t mean you can’t have nice things or enjoy nice things. They just can’t be a higher priority than spiritual things.
2. Respect your elders. Strive to make your parents happy. This young man does not. Proverbs 10:1 states, “A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son brings grief to his mother.” He also disrespects his older brother. He bypasses him to ask for his inheritance while his father is still alive—kind of uncool, rude. The inheritance was usually shared after the father’s death (See Hebrews 9:17).
By taking the inheritance early, he also denied his father the opportunity of taking advantage of those assets while still alive. Proverbs 20:21 states, “An inheritance claimed too soon will not be blessed at the end.”
The young man walks out on his parents, runs away from home, and probably didn’t tell anyone where he was going. He caused heartache for his parents. Don’t do that. Proverbs 27:8 states, “Like a bird that flees its nest is anyone who flees from home.” As a parent of two sons, I can tell you these actions would have broken my heart.
3. Desire your Father’s will, not your own will. The prodigal son focused on his own will—not his father’s. The father didn’t want this but granted the request. Sometimes, God allows us to have our own way. He gives us freewill, even to do dangerous things. In discussing the Israelites, Psalm 106:15 states, “So he gave them what they asked for, but sent a wasting disease among them.”
This father allowed the rebellion even though he knew it was a foolish and greedy request. It’s ALWAYS best to align with the will of God. John 4:34 states, “’My food,’ said Jesus, ‘is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.’” In Luke 22:42, Jesus states, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” In Matthew 6:10, He adds, “your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”
How can we know God’s will? By reading our Bibles, praying to God for guidance, and attending Bible classes and worship services, among other things.
4. Don’t be wasteful, foolish, and reckless. Even after leaving home, the prodigal son still could have done good things with his inheritance. He could have gone to a far country and invested wisely. He could have proved his critics wrong. But he didn’t because his motive was wrong from the outset—wild living.
Don’t waste the investment of God in your life—the gifts and opportunities God has given you (See the Parable of the Talents). Be a prudent manager of the resources given you. The prodigal son is accused by his brother of spending money on prostitutes. If true, this is yet another way he squandered his money. Proverbs 29:3b states, “but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth.”
Note that the son asks two things of his father in the parable: “give me” and later “make me” (or “treat me”). Underline those phrases. Only the latter—“make me”—humbly offered, brought joy.
5. God has a crazy love for us! Romans 8:37-39 states, “No in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
This father’s love waited and never forgot. He completely forgave his son. He didn’t put him on probation—didn’t make him grovel on the front pew. It seems like he didn’t even let him finish his prepared repentance speech. As one commentator put it, “The depth of the son’s repentance is matched only by the depth of the father’s love.”
Our loving Father wants us in his house, under his care. He sent His only Son to fix the broken and the torn. He picks us up and puts us on his shoulder like the lost sheep. When we fall away, it breaks his heart. He longs for us to return, even when we’ve sinned against him.
In that culture, older men didn’t run. This was an unusual action, but he couldn’t contain himself. Like the shepherd finding that lost sheep, or the woman finding the lost coin, God is thrilled when we return. Heaven celebrates.
The father in the story gives his son the family ring. This signifies ownership, belonging, and legitimacy—he’s a part of the family. The ring means he’s a full partner in the family business and possesses the family credit card. Similarly, God showers us with blessings—why would we give up the ring and walk away from that?
In this week’s Bible class, a Sister shared something she had recently heard in a podcast. In that culture, a representative from a family or community would often throw a piece of pottery at the feet of someone who had dishonored the community. The broken pieces at their feet were a visible reminder of their shame and the harm they had caused. I can picture the older brother handing the pottery to his father and reminding him to throw it at his wayward son’s feet. Instead, the father in the story showers him with love and affection.
Bottom line: We should also have a crazy love for others and be willing to forgive them. For more on God’s crazy love for us, I recommend reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan.
6. God wants us to repent. Many people read right over the response God wants us to have to this parable. We love reading about Jesus forgiving the woman caught in adultery in John 8 but sometimes forget that he tells her, “Go and sin no more.” Throughout the Bible we see that God desires for us to repent and be reconciled to Him. He “commands all men everywhere to repent” (Acts 17:30).
The Son humbles himself and is truly sorry; he’s hit rock bottom—“Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.” Even though the son ends up in a pig pen through his own bad choices, we can still feel sympathy for him.
Do you have anyone in your life in a “pig pen” like this? While witnessing their suffering is difficult, the benefit is that it can drive repentance. That’s what we need to pray for.
Verse 17 states, “when he came to himself”. What’s that mean? It seems he finally started to think clearly. Prior to his repentance, it was like he was a different man. Can you think back to some “pig pen” moments or seasons in your life, before you became a Christian? It’s like you are now an entirely different person now—a new creation. In 2 Corinthians 5:17, Paul writes, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
Repentance is a change of heart and a change of mind, along with a change in actions. The prodigal son didn’t try to improve conditions in the pig pen. He didn’t blame his father, brother, boss, friends, or the pigs. He owned it. His thinking led to believing which led to action. He didn’t get stuck on just thinking about making a change.
When I talk to prisoners (and others) about repentance, I compare it to a car’s GPS system. You realize you’re lost and you type in “God” on your GPS. The voice comes on telling you to make a U-Turn because you’re headed in the wrong direction. Repentance occurs not when you think about going toward God but when you turn the car around. Even then, as you head toward God/faith, you’ll still get off track from time to time. We all do. We miss the mark. We sin. Thus, repentance is not a one-time thing but something we should do daily—always adjusting course to align ourselves with God’s Word.
Note that the prodigal son focused on his father—“I will arise and go to my father.” Jesus didn’t say that the man thought of his village or his home, but of his father. When the son returned to the father, he also came back to the village and to the house; but his focus was on returning to his father. That is how we need to come back to God—to come back to Him first and foremost. Coming back to church and our Christian friends is important, but coming back to God is the key.
Without repentance, this story wouldn’t have a happy ending—and a happy ending it was! A celebration! It was a happy thing to find the lost sheep and the lost coin. It was much happier thing to find the lost son. They had a wonderful party with special clothing, jewelry, and food. It wasn’t just finding a lost son; it was as if he were back from the dead.
No matter how far you fall away from God, the door is always open to return.
7. Don’t be the petty, jealous older brother. The older brother felt like his father’s reaction was an insult to his own faithfulness and obedience. “I never transgressed… you never gave…” These exaggerations are common for those who hold on to bitterness. The older son finally showed this bitterness to the father, but only after it had done its damage in his heart over many years.
One commentator describes the older son as obedient, yet far from his father’s heart. In this sense he was a perfect illustration of the religious leaders who were angry that Jesus received tax collectors and sinners. Morgan states, “His story reveals the possibility of living in the father’s house and failing to understand the father’s heart.”
Why should the older brother have been excited to see his brother’s return and reception? Because he should have loved his brother and been happy for him. He still had his ring—still had all the blessings of being in the family. He still had his inheritance—actually a double portion. Yet he was unappreciative of what he did have.
So don’t be petty and jealous. That attitude will only put a barrier between you and the Father. Besides, someday you may be the one that needs forgiving.
With the lost sheep, coin, and son, we’ve seen how deeply our Father cares for the lost. When we repent, He runs toward us. He never gives up on us. And when we return, all of heaven celebrates!
Homework: The Wise & Foolish Virgins, read Matthew 25:1-13.
“The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.” – Deuteronomy 29:29
Every year since Christmas of 2000, my friends Lonnie and Lynne have received a delicious gift basket from Harry & David that’s simply signed: From Your Friends. Merry Christmas. Every year for the past quarter century, they have expressed appreciation and bewilderment—the sender’s identity a wonderful mystery.
There are far more perplexing mysteries out there, even in matters of faith. For example, how has our singular God existed eternally as three co-equal persons: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit? What is the relationship between God’s providence/will and His answering of prayers? How was Jesus simultaneously both fully God and fully human? Try as I might to fully understand or explain these complex concepts, I’m unable.
Thankfully, God has revealed other former mysteries in the New Testament, particularly through the apostles. We now better understand the inclusion of Gentiles in God’s plan, the church as the body of Christ, the nature and timing of the kingdom of heaven, the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, and the Second Coming of Christ. I appreciate God’s progressive revelation—His willingness over time to give diligent seekers a better understanding of these challenging topics.
How comfortable are you with mystery, especially in matters of faith? How do you handle having less than 100% rational or empirical certainty in some of your beliefs? Are you intrigued or frustrated by biblical paradoxes—seemingly contradictory statements that highlight spiritual truths, such as “the last shall be first” or “when we are weak we are strong”? If you can’t fully explain a matter of faith, are you inclined to walk away? Or, like the father of the boy with the unclean spirit in Mark 9:23, do you cry out to Jesus, “I believe; help my unbelief!”?
In the song “Silent Night (Smile in the Mystery),” Christian artist John Mark McMillan merges the traditional Christmas carol with a contemporary message about embracing the mystery and wonder of God’s presence in the unseen, often difficult, aspects of life. The original “Silent Night” carol from 1816 focuses on the calm, peaceful, humble birth of Jesus Christ, the Savior. Each time I hear it, a sense of calm overcomes me, as I reflect on the stillness and significance of that Holy Night when the all-powerful God became a vulnerable baby.
McMillan adds a new dimension to the song, examining the modern Christian’s struggle with rationalism and the demand for logical answers in faith. The lyrics suggest we embrace the unknown (“smile”) because a key aspect of faith is that God’s actions are not immediately clear or easily explained by human logic. We’re encouraged to find God in the darkness in the line, “Invisible the hope grows in the black where nobody knows; we smile in the mystery, in the night where nobody sees”. The point is that faith and hope can thrive even in times of darkness or uncertainty, away from public view or obvious signs.
Friends, what if we keep seeking God but let go of our desire to “figure Him out” and solve every mystery in matters of faith? What if we accept divine wonder and let go of the need to control or fully understand everything?By doing so, is it possible we could open ourselves up to a deeper sense of worship? Could we experience God in new ways? McMillan’s song is, in essence, a call to find profound peace and joy not just in the serene nativity scene, but also in the act of trusting in a God whose plans and presence often remain enigmatic and work in ways we might not fully grasp.
As for my friends and their mysterious annual gift basket, I hope the mystery is never solved. As they enjoy the cheese and crackers or deluxe chocolates, let them bask in the extraordinary thoughtfulness of the unknown giver. Let the anonymous person receive a reward (See Matthew 6:4) and feel the joy of knowing, “I got them again!” While learning of the giver’s identity would bring my friends temporary satisfaction, it would also take much of the energy out of the story. The beauty is in not knowing. The fascination is in the conundrum.
When Lonnie and Lynne open their mysterious basket this year, I hope they scratch their heads in wonder.
