“When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.” – Psalm 32:3
The murder of Frank Wesley McAlister had remained unsolved for 25 years. That all changed in January of 2018. During a televised interview, Brian Keith Hawkins of Redding, California made a surprise confession: He had killed Frank McAlister in 1993, with the help of two accomplices. The trio planned to meet McAlister under the pretense of a meth transaction. Instead, they robbed him, stabbed him to death, and ditched his car.
After confessing, Hawkins finished a Pepsi and cigar and then turned himself into local authorities. He and his accomplices were arrested and remain in jail.
What causes a man to confess to a crime and turn himself in? In this case, the murderer provided an explanation:
“Horrible, horrible, absolutely horrible every day,” Hawkins said to describe his life since the murder. “Almost every minute of every day has been a nightmare.” According to Hawkins, his victim wasn’t the only one to lose his life that day.
“It’s kinda weird that Frank never even got to have a life and neither did I,” he said in an interview. “We were teenagers and now I’m 44 and still haven’t had a life, and now probably most likely won’t anyways.”
Hawkins said that he has been remorseful ever since the incident, but it was ultimately finding faith in God that led to his confession.
“I’ve been through hell my whole life because of this,” Hawkins explained. He said he knows that God has forgiven him, but that wasn’t enough. The wrong couldn’t be undone, but he could now do the right thing. So, he contacted the family to beg for forgiveness. He then turned himself in so that a judge and jury can decide his punishment.
Today’s passage is taken from a psalm of David. The note from the margin reads: When you have sin in your life and do nothing about it, there is no peace.
Campbell Morgan describes it as “a Psalm of penitence, but it is also the song of a ransomed soul rejoicing in the wonders of the grace of God. Sin is dealt with; sorrow is comforted; ignorance is instructed.” James Montgomery Boice adds, “This was Saint Augustine’s favorite psalm. Augustine had it inscribed on the wall next to his bed before he died in order to meditate on it better.”
I suspect Brian Keith Hawkins will spend the rest of his life behind bars. He has lost his freedom, the consequence of a 25-year-old crime. However, by finding God, turning himself in, confessing his sin, and asking for forgiveness, he will find mercy and peace.
#FaithInTheMargins
